Fear is taking over

I keep telling the people around me not to let fear take control of their lives but this time, I need to have a little talk to myself about the same topic.

If I had the choice of choosing a power, I would choose the power of travelling back to the past. I would travel back to 13 November 2013; the day I injured my knee.

I hated myself from that day. I kept hunting myself with questions why did I try to save the ball? What if I cant play again? Will I be able play for next year's season? and maybe a few more.

Some nights, I would cry. You know that feeling when you want to do something so badly and you cant...yea...that's how I felt.

5 years of my life was devoted to netball. I love it and not being able to play, sucks. I miss being on court.

Being on court is the best thing ever. 1 hour of my life is just focused on making the school proud. I can just forget about everything and focus on the game.

Today, Im still wondering if I will ever play for next year's season. What im thinking is, 70% yes I will come back strong, 30% what if I get injured agian. Just seeing my teammates jumping and landing scares me. 

All im hoping is, 13 November 2014, will be the day I finally get back.

A Failure

You sit there at the corner of your room. Tears dripping down your face. You can't think. The only thing you can think of is what's bothering you and hurting yourself. You really don't know what to do...you just feel like you're locked in this box, no way out. So you hurt yourself every time you try to  break yourself free because you feel like a failure...and you get weaker and weaker.


Listen up.
I want you to put that blade or whatever it is, I want you to fight your way out of that box because I know you're stronger than that lock an that box. I want you to know that every single time you fail you actually become stronger.
Why?
Because you learn something. You learn that you can't do that again.
I know that you guys are strong people, you just have to believe that you can do it.

Love you guys
Be happy. Stay happy

Thank you for reading

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The killer

This killer, this killer is like a professional killer.

He/She, makes you feel super weak. The killer starts out slow, he/she makes you listen to him/she. He/She make you believe that very word that he/she says is true.

Then...

He/She makes you feel like a loser, a failure. The killer destroys your mind, destroys the way you think about think. He makes you think the jokes that people made about you is true. 

Then...

The killer makes you think about blades, knife, drugs, guns anything which is possible for you to go to sleep.

Then...

He/She makes you to depressed till you can't take it anymore. 

"Take the blade! Take the blade!" The killer screams in your mind.

You take the blade...and place it against your skin...pressed the blade hard against your skin...drag it...and let the blood flow.

"Good job!"

At this moment, you're finally awake...that's when you realise...this killer...is this person inside of you..

Now guys, I really hope you guys will be awake, I'll scream my lungs out just to wake up. 

Try to kill the killer who's trying to kill you...and I don't mean by killing yourself. 

This killer, hates true happiness, this killer hates seeing you smile happily because it kills him.

I know that happiness, is not easy to find...but trust me there's always someone or something to make you happy, very happy.

If you really don't know anyone, like I always say I'm here.

I'll help you kill this this killer.

Love you  guys

STAY HAPPY BE HAPPY

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