HEYO

hey guys.
so happy new year. i hope that your day is starting.
hey so listen up. I was inspired by this tumblr post about how your is like a book. 365 pages. yea the same person who inspired to post the previous post.
so yea check it out, I will post it dow below later.
i hope that you guys will have a great year ahead.
Love you guys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Check out my new blog! I already upload the first day even though it hasn't ended so yea- the-365-pages-of-squister.blogspot.com

A new book

Today is the last page of this book. Tomorrow is a new page of  a new.
For me, this book is not a happy story. This book is filled with drama, blood, tears, happiness...
I just hope that tomorrow's first page will be perfect. No...I don't hope. I will make tomorrow's first page not exactly perfect but good...at least good.  I will try to make the new book a book without drama or sadness. Then again, I can't really control what happens.
I hope that you guys will have a good 365 days starting from tomorrow. Then again, how do will you have a good story without forgetting the 365 days that passed.
hey listen up! If something goes wrong in your story, I will be here to make you're story better. I will try my best.
Find me on twitter. (like_a_caffeine) dm me. I will be here for you always.

love you guys.
Enjoy the last page of your book.
Have a happy ending.

you

You just keep on hurting me like I'm not your girlfriend, like I'm nobody.
Do you really love me?
If you say yes, then why do you keep doing what you're doing?
Seriously, you have a girlfriend. Wake up...please...

Go.

"the prince wanted to live happily with his princess but so many dragons kept interfering"

I feel like I should go.

You don't need me at all. I guess she's the one who won your heart...

Your life would be so fucking better without me. 

She's the one that you love the most. Say that you don't need me. Say that you don't love me and you love her the most. Tell me you never want to see me ever again. Tell me all this please and I will go because I don't want to leave you without knowing all this.

I will leave you physically but emotionally, I'm still here.

Go and live happily with her. 

I'll be here, crying, watching you walk away because I've lost the one who won my heart.

Love,

jo, one of the dragons.

Only he.

Only he knows how I feel.

A new thought

All of sudden the thought of running away from my problems came to my mind. I feel like going back home. She will be happy wouldn't she. I mean she doesn't have to worry about hurting anyone.

Mixed

Angry. Sad. Frustrated. Confused.

Why did you lie to me? Why did you hide it from me, you said you will never hide anything from me? Why? Why did you? I really trust you a lot but i guess you don't. I hate this, I really fucking do. When it will it all stop? When? What you told me, really? Tell me really. It's not that i don't trust you,  I feel fucking insercure right now. Argh. Tears, filled with this feelings, is just dripping down my face.
Seriously, I have no way out hurting myself is not a option right now because I don't want to hurt my friends.
Right now, I just feel like screaming my guts out, that's the only thing which is at the back of my mind. IM SO FUCKING LOST RIGHT NOW.

I don't know

 I really don't know.
I don't know what to do.
What do you do when you love someone so fucking much and all you get in return is scars on your heart?
You can't let that special someone go, you just love that someone so much...you can't even let that someone go.
argh. It's just so fucked up.
Do what you have to do?
hurt me all you want. I will just take like you didn't. So c'mon hurt me all you want.
BUT don't be there for me when, I reached my breaking point.
You still have my trust, you still have my heart...pleas take care of my heart.

Update:)

Hey amazing peeps!

Thank you for reading my blog. I'm sorry for some rants and i hope you guys don't mind. I will try my best to post an advice post.
I apologise for not updating my blog so frequently and I might not update my blog so frequently now a days because school is starting soon and I need to focus but don't worry I will update when I have time.
In the mean time, stay strong , be happy. Remember,  I'm always here for you if you need somebody.
Keep smiling and continue your journey.
If you want to give any suggestions about anything or want to tell me something, just leave a comment down below.

The torture flats

Im kinda happy happen with what the pair of flats did. It hurts but I enjoy it.

FUCCCCCCKKKKKK

Im so fucking pissed

Relieve

Every punch I take I feel relieve . Everything I want to say but I can't say is released. I hate it when I try to explain myself to her, I can't.  And she hurts me with all the words she can say. Right now, I can't stop replaying the words she said...

Help

And there it is. Lying down there calling my name. It might not be a blade but it's something..HELP ME PLEASE. PLEASE. 

Lost

I have no idea what is going on. I feel lost. Like totally. I can only hear it call on my name but I don't know where to find it in my house....Someone help me...

It called

It called my name. It told me that I needed it...lucky I was outside.

:(

I miss dancing

Tears

Tears...we cry because of many reasons.
Happy, sad, proud.....

For this post,  I'm focusing on sad tears

Every time something's not right, every time your mind turns weak, tears start to form....and drip down your face.

To cry, to release evry sadness in you.
One drop of tear means one step closer to being happy...or feeling much more better.

After crying,  just smile, fake or real, just smile but please put on a real smile:) because you need that smile to help you get through whatever caused you to cry...I'm always here if you need me...

Shout out. Whoowhoo

♡To my bumheads♡
They're my everything. Without them, my life, it will totally suck. Just by talking to them, I just forget everything that is happening. I love their hugs the most. Probably, the best thing I ever receive. I don't mind making time for them. They're the reason why I want to smile. They're part of me, my heart and my life journey.

♡Love you guys♡

They're my definition of perfection

Staying strong

I know how hard it is to reject the calling of that 'friend'. The way it tells you, you need it. The way It calls your name and it just won't stop.

Please, please,  try your best to stay strong and fight that sound.

Before you pick it up, think about what's going to happen...
Remember that friend who said she will cut if you did.
Your parents or teachers,  if they see those lines.
Yea I know, some of you will be thinking,  what friends, what parents or what teachers.
Well about yourself, when the problem, or problems, disappears(yes it will be gone...believe in yourself) you're going to have scars left behind reminding you of everything that happened...wouldn't like that would?

But you'll be asking me this, "I don't know what else to do, hurting myself the only way out for me."
Some of us are comfortable talking to a special adult.
Remember that friend who's willing to sacrifice her/his skin for you to stop...I bet she's willing to help you.
Don't feel comfortable talking to another person...
Going to a place with nobody around and screaming your sadness or anger out.
Writing all you sadness or anger out on a piece of paper.
Crying it out.

Lastly, me...you can rant to me, talk to me ...anything I'll be here for you.

You can do all that but you need to solve the problem in the end...there's always a solution...you just have stay strong and find your way out.

The reason why I ask you to stay strong is because you don't know what's going to happen in the later part of your journey...what if, something good happens to you, actually something good always happens to everyone.
Just believe in yourself and stay strong.
Stay strong till the very end of your journey.
Don't choose to end it earlier.

There's always someone there for you.

If you have nobody, im here always. It doesn't matter if I know you or not. Im here for you
I'll be here...screaming louder than that 'friend'.

Stay strong, for I'll be here to pick you up everytime you fall.

UPDATTEEE

Heyo:)

I will try my best to publish at least 1 post everyday.  Hope you guys are liking it so far. If my advice is stupid or not good enough,  i apologise.
Just leave a comment what you don't like about it and I will change and I'll improve. 
I apologise if I offended anyone. I didn't mean to.
Thanks guys for reading my blog:)
Follow me yea;)

Stay strong amazing people:)

Smile; )

To you, T

To you my wonderful, amazing, awesome beautiful, sweet, talented...T.....
Love you forever & always:)

you, only you in my head

Every second,  every hour,  everyday...I think about you.  I can't stop...

Please don't go.

Please stay with me, physically and mentally

I miss you a lot.

I love you a lot.

No

I love you more than...a lot.

I love you more than infinity.

You won my heart...

In her head

"Joanne, what does people normally use to cut their wrist?"

Why are you asking me this?

Is it out of curiosity or something else?

If I don't tell her, she might be mad.
If I do, I will have that fear of her doing it.

Please don't figure out....