Fear is taking over

I keep telling the people around me not to let fear take control of their lives but this time, I need to have a little talk to myself about the same topic.

If I had the choice of choosing a power, I would choose the power of travelling back to the past. I would travel back to 13 November 2013; the day I injured my knee.

I hated myself from that day. I kept hunting myself with questions why did I try to save the ball? What if I cant play again? Will I be able play for next year's season? and maybe a few more.

Some nights, I would cry. You know that feeling when you want to do something so badly and you cant...yea...that's how I felt.

5 years of my life was devoted to netball. I love it and not being able to play, sucks. I miss being on court.

Being on court is the best thing ever. 1 hour of my life is just focused on making the school proud. I can just forget about everything and focus on the game.

Today, Im still wondering if I will ever play for next year's season. What im thinking is, 70% yes I will come back strong, 30% what if I get injured agian. Just seeing my teammates jumping and landing scares me. 

All im hoping is, 13 November 2014, will be the day I finally get back.

A Failure

You sit there at the corner of your room. Tears dripping down your face. You can't think. The only thing you can think of is what's bothering you and hurting yourself. You really don't know what to do...you just feel like you're locked in this box, no way out. So you hurt yourself every time you try to  break yourself free because you feel like a failure...and you get weaker and weaker.


Listen up.
I want you to put that blade or whatever it is, I want you to fight your way out of that box because I know you're stronger than that lock an that box. I want you to know that every single time you fail you actually become stronger.
Why?
Because you learn something. You learn that you can't do that again.
I know that you guys are strong people, you just have to believe that you can do it.

Love you guys
Be happy. Stay happy

Thank you for reading

Check out my other blog - thisistheimperfectjourney.blogspot.com

Follow me on twitter (DM me if you need someone to talk to- twitter.com/like_a_caffeine or just comment down below.

The killer

This killer, this killer is like a professional killer.

He/She, makes you feel super weak. The killer starts out slow, he/she makes you listen to him/she. He/She make you believe that very word that he/she says is true.

Then...

He/She makes you feel like a loser, a failure. The killer destroys your mind, destroys the way you think about think. He makes you think the jokes that people made about you is true. 

Then...

The killer makes you think about blades, knife, drugs, guns anything which is possible for you to go to sleep.

Then...

He/She makes you to depressed till you can't take it anymore. 

"Take the blade! Take the blade!" The killer screams in your mind.

You take the blade...and place it against your skin...pressed the blade hard against your skin...drag it...and let the blood flow.

"Good job!"

At this moment, you're finally awake...that's when you realise...this killer...is this person inside of you..

Now guys, I really hope you guys will be awake, I'll scream my lungs out just to wake up. 

Try to kill the killer who's trying to kill you...and I don't mean by killing yourself. 

This killer, hates true happiness, this killer hates seeing you smile happily because it kills him.

I know that happiness, is not easy to find...but trust me there's always someone or something to make you happy, very happy.

If you really don't know anyone, like I always say I'm here.

I'll help you kill this this killer.

Love you  guys

STAY HAPPY BE HAPPY

Check out my new blog, 365 pages - the-365-pages-of-squister.blogspot.com

DM me on  twitter (I know i private it, so I'm going to unprivate it tomorrow)- like_a_caffeine

leave a comment down below

HEYO

hey guys.
so happy new year. i hope that your day is starting.
hey so listen up. I was inspired by this tumblr post about how your is like a book. 365 pages. yea the same person who inspired to post the previous post.
so yea check it out, I will post it dow below later.
i hope that you guys will have a great year ahead.
Love you guys.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Check out my new blog! I already upload the first day even though it hasn't ended so yea- the-365-pages-of-squister.blogspot.com

A new book

Today is the last page of this book. Tomorrow is a new page of  a new.
For me, this book is not a happy story. This book is filled with drama, blood, tears, happiness...
I just hope that tomorrow's first page will be perfect. No...I don't hope. I will make tomorrow's first page not exactly perfect but good...at least good.  I will try to make the new book a book without drama or sadness. Then again, I can't really control what happens.
I hope that you guys will have a good 365 days starting from tomorrow. Then again, how do will you have a good story without forgetting the 365 days that passed.
hey listen up! If something goes wrong in your story, I will be here to make you're story better. I will try my best.
Find me on twitter. (like_a_caffeine) dm me. I will be here for you always.

love you guys.
Enjoy the last page of your book.
Have a happy ending.

you

You just keep on hurting me like I'm not your girlfriend, like I'm nobody.
Do you really love me?
If you say yes, then why do you keep doing what you're doing?
Seriously, you have a girlfriend. Wake up...please...

Go.

"the prince wanted to live happily with his princess but so many dragons kept interfering"

I feel like I should go.

You don't need me at all. I guess she's the one who won your heart...

Your life would be so fucking better without me. 

She's the one that you love the most. Say that you don't need me. Say that you don't love me and you love her the most. Tell me you never want to see me ever again. Tell me all this please and I will go because I don't want to leave you without knowing all this.

I will leave you physically but emotionally, I'm still here.

Go and live happily with her. 

I'll be here, crying, watching you walk away because I've lost the one who won my heart.

Love,

jo, one of the dragons.